


Sailing Mort

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-04-25
Updated: 2000-04-25
Packaged: 2018-11-10 17:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11131083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: A Shaggy Dog story is a short story ending with a, usually painful, pun or joke. This one involves Mort and boats.





	Sailing Mort

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).
    
    
    Title: Shaggy Dog #2: Sailing Mort
    Author: Marian 
    Category: Humor/parody
    Ratings/warnings: G.  If you hate puns, do not read this story.
    Pairings: none
    Spoilers: none
    Disclaimers: The Due South Characters Belong to Alliance.
    Teaser: A Shaggy Dog story is a long or short story ending with a, usually
    painful, pun or joke.  This one involves Mort and boats.
    Archive: Please archive.
    
    Benton Fraser, RCMP was bringing a sample for Mort, the pathologist at
    the 27th precinct, to analyze. Upon entering the lab he heard Mort singing.
    Instead of his usual operatic songs Mort was singing a sea chantey.
    "Pardon me Mort but could you check this...."
    "Ah Fraser my boy come in, come in.  I was just singing because I was
    looking forward to indulging hobby this weekend."
    Fraser, knowing that often best to let Mort ramble, answered " What hobby
    is that?" hoping this would allow Mort to finish this line of discussion
    faster and then get to the matter Fraser wanted to discuss. "I love rigging
    sailships.  Ahhh the ropes, the pulleys, the
    satisfaction that a good rigging leads to a good sailing trip."
    "I see. well if you could just look at this sample..."
    "Unfortunately I have lost my rigging partner for this trip."
    "Mort..."
    "And I really can't do it alone."
    "Mort"
    "At my age, my joints get tired from working the ropes."
    "Mort!"
    "One really needs a good rigging to stand up against the winds of Lake
    Michigan."
    "MORT!" sighing heavily Fraser decided to indulge Mort. "If I agree to
    go with you this weekend and help you with the rigging, would that facilitate
    the identification of this sample?"
    "Why, yes indeed it would Fraser. I'll have the results to you at the
    end of today."
    Writing down directions to where his boat was and handing the
    paper to Fraser "Be here Saturday, 7:00 a.m. Thank you Fraser.
    
    Fraser got the lab results from Mort and, true to his word, he helped
    Mort with the rigging on Saturday.  He arrived, confident that he could
    even teach Mort a thing or two about rigging courtesy of his RCMP training
    in knot tying and rigging.
    
    Monday arrived with Fraser waiting for his friend Ray Vecchio (actually
    Stan Kowolski). Fraser appeared to be brooding.
    "Hey Fraser, old buddy, I hear you went sailing with ol' Mort.  Didja
    have a good time?"
    "Yes Ray, I did.  But I also had a lesson in humility."
    "Whadaya mean by that."
    "I assumed that my training from the RCMP would be superior to the skills
    
    of a pathologist, for whom rigging was merely a hobby."
    "And?"
    "Morts skills and dexterity were..."
    Fraser paused, shifting uncomfortably.
    "C'mon Fraze, out with it"
    "I was good but.."
    "But??"
    
    "I'm not the rigger Mort is".
    
    The end
    
    Feedback:
    


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